It seems like life has changed a great deal in the span of a very short time. I know I sometimes wake up in the morning and wonder if it’s all been a bad dream but, alas, no, it’s very real. We are all social distancing, spending a lot more time at home, and consuming far too much news.
A common theme in many of my sessions with clients is, not surprisingly, anxiety. Here are some things we can do to help ourselves:
- Keep a Routine. It’s tempting to become a little sloth-like when we are spending so much time at home. Psyche loves routine and structure. Get up at the same time every morning and go to bed at the same time every evening. Take a shower and get dressed – you’ll feel better. Plan your days—plan things to do that aren’t just playing video games and watching Netflix. Maybe there’s something you’ve wanted to learn or perhaps there’s a project you’ve been meaning to get to (organizing the basement is high on our list). It doesn’t have to be ambitious, it just needs to be something you can look forward to doing.
- Social Distancing Doesn’t Have to Mean Emotional Distancing. We can’t meet up with friends and family in person but that doesn’t mean that we can’t interact with them by phone, FaceTime, or other video platforms. I also love that people are getting more creative and actually joining up virtually for dinner parties and coffee dates. Just because you are physically self-isolating doesn’t mean that you have to isolate yourself emotionally as well. It’s extremely important that we keep connected to the people we care for and who care about us.
- Journalling. I preach this over and over again to my clients. Journalling is a wonderful tool that helps us to process our emotions. It is extremely therapeutic to have a safe place to express our deepest feelings and our most vulnerable thoughts, our highs and our lows. Journalling is about writing down (ideally on paper) what’s going on inside us and trying to go as deep into those feelings as possible. To get the most benefit, it is something that needs to be done at least daily and over time you are likely to notice shifts in your experience. Many of my clients say that journalling is something they look forward to all day—it feels great to have a place to dump the dark, angsty feelings we carry inside and to attempt to work them out.
- Gratitude. Yes there is a lot going on in the world and in our lives that isn’t so great at the moment. It’s a scary time in so many ways. But there is also so much to be grateful for in each and every one of our lives. When we look for the good on a consistent basis, it helps to build a mindset of positivity and thankfulness. This morning I was grateful for hot water in my shower, that my daughter called me from Japan to wish me a happy birthday, that the rain that was falling might be the stimulus for the grass to start turning green, etc, etc. You can be thankful for big things or even the smallest of things. What matters is that you are making a practice of trying to look for the good in your life.
- Self-Care. What does my soul need right now? How can I take care of myself? Self-care can look like so many different things and what might be self-care to me, might not be for you. Some examples of self-care are exercise, pampering yourself, eating healthy, or maybe letting yourself have a treat. Some time to yourself, reading a book, being with friends (virtually for the time being), snuggling with your partner or kids, saying no to something you really don’t want to do. The examples of self-care could fill many books. What would self-care look like for you?
- Meditation. There are some great apps that guide you through meditating. Two of my favourites are Calm and Headspace and right now both of them are offering free content to help us through these turbulent times. Meditation is a practice—practice being the key word. It is best to meditate for at least 10 minutes per day—that’s not a lot of time—every day. During that time we slow down and train our brains to be present. Anxiety by definition is about not living in the present moment. When we think of ‘what if’s’ we are living in the future. What if this happens? What if that happens? Remember, meditation is not about emptying our brain—that’s impossible for humans—it’s about maintaining a focus on one thing and noticing what other thoughts come into our awareness and then gently putting them away for another time and re-focusing. It is an evidence-based method to re-route neural pathways. Give it a try.
There are many other ways of managing anxiety. One thing I’d like to point out is that these tips don’t just apply to anxiety but are equally effective with depression.
And please reach out to me or to my husband Todd if you feel like you need more support. There’s no shame in having a hard time and needing some help to get through. That’s what we’re here for. We’re available via video or phone sessions at the moment and would be very happy to be of service to you. If you feel like you might hurt yourself or others or that you feel out of control, I encourage you to seek medical assistance immediately. Call your doctor, go to the nearest ER, or call 911.
